The first words I hear in the Morning are Mum from 3 little but very different voices. This starts from as early as 5.30 am and this continues…all day long.
My life as mum started on the 21st of June 2009 when I had my daughter Gracie. She wasn’t exactly planned but I knew I could never lose her. My pregnancy was great apart from suffering from Sciatica in the second trimester. She was born on Fathers day, 4 days early, via an emergency C-Section. She had become distressed and the Doctors realised she was really tiny. She weighed 4 lb 12 oz at 39 weeks, this wasn’t right. I was informed by the surgeon that my placenta had stopped working, around 6 weeks before, no one had any idea why. Thankfully she was absolutely perfect.
It’s amazing how much I loved such a tiny little person, my heart ached. I didn’t sleep at all that night, I just stared at her in amazement, watching her breath. We created this beautiful little girl.
So…it happened again on the 26th April 2012. Archie is my rainbow baby, I had suffered a miscarriage a few months before I fell for him. This pregnancy was the pregnancy we all dream of. I was glowing, only put on a stone and a half and felt amazing. He was born via a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean) for those who don’t know. I got to the hospital at 10 centimetres dilated and was rushed into a delivery room. Although the relaxed Jamaican midwife wasn’t in a rush to do an internal, she comforted me throughout my short labour.. Archie was born at a much healthier weight- 6 lb 12 oz.
I didn’t think I could love another tiny little person as much as my daughter, but oh was I wrong my heart just grew twice it’s size.
Now this is the story I tell everyone…
My third and FINAL pregnancy was the hardest. I went into premature labour at 32 weeks and had to be admitted into hospital. The results of the Fetal Fibronectic test came back positive. I needed the steroid injections for her lungs in case she decided to show an early appearance. This didn’t happen, I had contractions every day until the day she was born instead.
She was born the day before Bonfire Night, the 4th of November 2014. I was having pains, which was nothing unusual, but I decided to venture into my local town and go for a spot of shopping. I jumped on the bus, as I wasn’t driving then, and headed home with my then 2 year old son. I knew at that point I was in labour but I thought I had a few hours at least. My plan was to put the shopping away, tidy up and get some ironing done. Honestly what was I thinking? I tried ringing my mum, I got her colleague. I then knew an ambulance would probably be the best thing I could do with at that point. You know that feeling that you get when you need to push, yep I got that. My 2 year old son was in the front room watching Cbeebies, eating biscuits and drinking water . Thank you Cbeebies you kept him entertained. I was however, laying towels out on my bed ready to deliver her, I knew I was going to have an unplanned home birth just not with no medical assistance. My adrenaline took over and I delivered my baby on my bed , I helped guide her out. I actually got to see her enter this world. It was the most empowering moment of my life. I was so scared, but more for her, as I was helpless. My son, my superhero, came in to my bedroom, literally seconds after I had delivered her and said “Oh baby sister she’s here, shes’s so cute is she okay? ” He then went and got a blanket for me to cover his baby sister with. Her Grandad arrived just before the ambulance. I don’t know the precise time Casey was born but I know she was a healthy 6 lb 5 oz. Thankfully she was okay and we didn’t need to go to the hospital that day.
I knew this time I could love another tiny person just as much as my other 2, but I didn’t know how frightened I would be of losing her. I think it was her birth that made me feel this way.
I was the local celebrity for a couple of weeks, especially at my local hospital’s jaundice clinic. The paramedics had told other medical staff what had happened and it seemed everyone knew. I wasn’t complaining.
I have experienced every emotion becoming a mum, I’m sure some days when they do something new I can feel it all over again. That overwhelming love you just cant describe. I’m sure you know it.
I would absolutely love to hear your experiences on becoming a mum or your journey of motherhood.
P.s all my gorgeous pictures of my pregnancy and post birth pictures are all stored away, I must remember to get them out.
Lots of love